New Years resolutions would be something out of the ordinary for me, because when it comes to doing something out of the ordinary it just doesn't happen often in our family, Jack, would never go for it, and there are times when everything revolves around Jack.
Mothers of special needs kids know what I'm talking about. For instance, at church we always sit in the same pew. Now I know that a lot of people tend to do that, but Jack insists on sitting in "literally" the same spot no matter what. One time, some visitors sat in Jack's spot, so Jack sat right down next to them, invading their personal space I might add, and it made them so uncomfortable that they got up and moved. Luckily they weren't offended and thought it was funny, but I was not amused.
I spent the next 5 minutes fussing at him in a whisper about how to behave, and of course it went in one ear and out the other. I could tell he wasn't listening to a word I said, because after I had finished my lecture on behavior, he just looked at me like I was crazy, pointed to the bag of cheerios and signed "more".
Going to church is a challenge for our family. Some churches have ministries for people with special needs, but our church does not, and I don't feel led to start one up. Maybe I'd be the perfect person to do it, if I didn't have a special need myself (named Jack). I just don't think I could fit it in with all the other stuff I do for him. Our big problem is that Jack is too old for the children's Sunday School classes but doesn't fit in with the youth program. The Youth Group will be great for my other kids when they get to Junior High, but Jack doesn't socialize or read/write at that level. He'd enjoy the nursery class if the high chairs weren't too small. So we take the other kids to Sunday School and my husband and I take turns sitting with Jack in the sanctuary while the other goes to class(it's also why Jack gets to sit in the same spot every week). As a result my husband and I never go to class together, and haven't for years and I miss that. We tried taking Jack to class with us, but he doesn't like to do that and forcing him to do something in a public setting that he doesn't want to do well...I just don't want to go there, plus I hate it when he misbehaves at church.
I asked a friend of mine who also has a child with special needs, how they handled Sunday school and church activities. She tells me that they have the same problem, of what to do with their child concerning Sunday School and church. So if you have found this blog and you also have a child with special needs and you don't know how to get connected in to your church, never fear, you are not alone, but I don't have any answers for you. I have something better, this promise:
"The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." Deuteronomy 31:8
1 comment:
I wish I could help! I used to go to class with a boy who was autistic (when he was in 3-5th grades--the 6th grade teachers told me they didn't need me in THEIR class--they could handle him!) and I still remember fondly that family and how good it felt for me to be able to help out just a little. Come to think of it, Hubby and I used to sit with a boy who was more severely autistic than Jack when we were in College Station. The parents insisted on both of us being there since the boy was very strong. Then there was the little boy who had Down Syndrome that I fell in love with...
Maybe there is a person or people in your church who would give up a class or something similar to help you. You'd have to get someone else to ask for the help, though, because I know you--you'd never ask on your own!
I'll keep it in my prayers!
By the way, you and your family do such a good job with Jack. Hang in there!
I love you!
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