Hall Lurking at it's best

Today, like many days, I got up and rounded up the kids, sent them off to school, and went to my second job, that of "Hall Mom" or "Helicopter Mom" at Jack's school. It's a thankless, self appointed position, and the pay is lousy. Hanging out at my child's school is the only way I can really know what is going on in Special Ed. Most years I don't have to do that, because in the past I have known someone that works at my child's school, who tells me everything, or the teachers are good about communicating to parents. This year I don't have either of those luxuries, the ones I took for granted when he was in Elementary. The Junior High teachers do not send any information home about Jack's day, and I don't know any of the Aides well enough, that they would call me. So that leads me to the lonely life of a hall lurker.

I am happy to do my duty and once in awhile it really pays off to be available. For instance, today I ran into the Director of Special Education for our school district. She had come to visit our Junior High because she had gotten wind of the problems.

Rewind several weeks...On a Friday about a month ago, I was on the front lawn of a good friends house, visiting with several prayerful women. I shared with them my concerns about Jack's situation at school. I explained that I did not know any other parents of special needs children at this new school and really missed having allies at this school. After asking for them to keep this in their prayers, we went our separate ways, to run our mom errands like we usually do, frantically trying to get everything done before the weekend hit.

Two hours later that same day, I received an email from a parent, someone I had never met, about a parent meeting taking place concerning Special Education at the Junior High level. The meeting was that same night, so I scrambled around making arrangements so that I could be there. By 7pm on that same day, I was sitting in a living room with half a dozen other parents concerned about what was going on in Special Education in our city. You can imagine my surprise to find out that the home we were meeting in was a family with a child who had just started going to the same school as Jack!. Since I don't believe in coincidences, I began to get goosebumps, knowing that the prayers of my fabulous friends were already at work.

But that's not the end of the story...After the meeting we were to each get an employee from our school district to recommend us to be on a Special Education Advisory Committee that was being put together to give input to the Director of Special Education, the Superintendent and the Board of Trustees for our ISD. I was excited, so the next day I called up a woman that I had known for along time, who was an employee of the ISD and asked her for a recommendation to this committee. She laughed and said, "I put your name in for that committee 10 days ago!"

I am reminded of Deuteronomy 31:8

The Lord himself goes before you, he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.

The Special Education Advisory Committee met for the first time last night, and that is where I met the Director of Special Education for the first time. I ran in to her again at Jack's school today, so I am anxious to see what God has planned.

For a lifetime

ARD stands for Admission, Review, and Dismissal. It's as simple acronym that doesn't begin to convey the importance of the event. Parents of children with special needs do not typically look forward to an ARD, and I don't believe teachers do either. In our school district there is an unspoken, yet very present tension between parents and teachers during the ARD process. Teachers know that parents will be asking for things that the school district does not have the money to implement, and parents are feeling that the school district should live up to their expectations of providing an adequate education in the least restrictive environment for their child with special needs. Through a parents eyes: the school district has received money to educate a child with special needs, and when parents ask for services for their children, the powers that be, water down speech therapy, by having it in group sessions, dilute Occupational Therapy by authorizing only an OT consult, and expect the teacher to provide the Occupational Therapy as needed during the course of the day. The teachers have enough to do, please, with all the extra discipline problems that children with special needs have, they're never going to get around to helping a kid, on the one-on-one basis that is needed for a child to improve in any of these critical areas. Deep down you know that these educated people realize this simple fact, they are not providing services in quantities needed to help children in the special ed system. The children that continue to improve and do well, are the children who's parents bridge the gap with services that they pay for privately, out of their own pocket, because they know their child needs the help. While many good and well meaning teachers work hard to do their very best for their students, it is the parents who have the most at stake. Teachers only have these special kids for a time, parents have them for a lifetime.

Where does the buck stop?

It's one thing to have knowledge about an issue that requires change, and quite another to carry it out. I might call it procrastination, others may say it's dodging an issue, or not accepting responsibility. I really admire a person who can say, the "buck stops here". After school yesterday, the Vice Principal at Jacks school called me. I appreciate her following up with our meeting on Friday, and I hope that my concerns, observations, and requests will produce positive changes at Jack's school. She wanted to tell me that she forwarded my letter to the Director of Special Education for our school district. I was a little disappointed, because I had hoped she would be able to make the changes needed at her level. In our school district they have what's called Site Based Management. That's fancy wording for, "we get to decide how we run our own school". So for my comments to be forwarded up the chain of command, means that for some reason the V.P. feels like it is out of her hands. Don't get me wrong, I think this V.P. has the ability to get more things changed for good in the realm of special education than the previous person in her position. I also think that she agrees with me that things could be better. I am increasingly aware of one fact, they think it's all about money, and that may very well be part of it, but that's not all of it. I think the other part of this problem is a lack of educational resources, training, and knowledge of teaching tools and methods that work in the classroom. Especially their reluctance to use Applied Behavior Analysis and Discrete Trial Training in their teaching bag of tricks. I'm also wondering when was the last time anyone from our school district wandered out side the walls of our little town, to explore the great unknown territories of other special education departments that are doing great things for their students. We don't need to reinvent the wheel here, we just need to come on out of the dark ages and join the rank and file of those who are doing wonderful things with kids who have special needs.

A fly on the wall

You know it's bad when the Vice Principal agrees with you...Yes, I went to the office Friday. I actually made an appointment. I hadn't intended for it to be a long conference, I just wanted to touch base with the V.P and let her know I had some concerns. As an after thought, I sat down at the computer the morning before the conference, and quickly jotted down a few of my concerns. Two pages later, I decided I'd better stop, for practical purposes, because we'd never be able to cover all my observations and concerns in just one meeting.

School has been underway for about 4 weeks and I have been lurking the halls and sitting in the classrooms, shocked at what I have witnessed. One problem with having a child with special needs, is the inability to quiz him about his day. So I have to be a presence in the classroom to find out what is happening in his day. And I will continue to do this until I feel things are running smoothly. Not all parents have that luxury, and I am thankful that I am able to do this.

One thing about being in the classroom often, is that after awhile, the teachers and aides forget that I'm not one of them...they forget that I'm there, I become a fly on the wall, and I get to see what life is like for these kids when no one is watching.